First Conversation About the Wedding Budget

My Fiancee and I sat down recently to construct our initial wedding budget.  We already know that we will be having a fairly large (around 250 guests), traditional church wedding with a dinner reception following.  We have decided that our hard-line budget is $20,000.  We will try to plan the expenses for less, but knowing that we do seek all the trappings of a "traditional" wedding, that will be difficult.

When I have a final copy of our budget, I'll post it here for all the world to scrutinize, criticize, and hopefully, make suggestions.  We have decided to begin an aggressive recycling campaign to help defray the costs of the wedding.  Sounds silly, but I hope to collect $1,000 by the date of our wedding.

Some of the items that I am convinced we can save some money on include the photographer, flowers and her gown (I know, I'm a bad man!).  I know that cutting down the guest list will be critical in order to keep in budget.  I'm guilty here.  My list is larger than hers.  Many more conversations, compromises and civil disagreements are sure to follow!  I really am looking forward to all of it.  I'll keep you posted.

Comments

[Tom]

Okay, this won't be popular, but:

Please don't skimp on the photographer!

The cake is gone, the gown is worn once, the food is eaten, the hall isn't yours and the flowers die. The ONLY wedding day expense that lives beyond the day is the photos. Done well, you can share them with your grandkids. Done poorly, they will never leave the shelf you put them on.

You can get a decent one for around $2000, depending on geography.

[D]

Let me also be the bearer of bad news. We only had 75 people at our wedding (was a 2nd for both of us). I bought my gown at David's Bridal at the $99 sale. I ended up paying a little more ($269). Photographer was a friend $500 less finished pictures. We dined buffett. I don't recommend, cause we didn't get to eat. My point is I spend over half of your budget on this tiny affair.

Yours sounds very traditional and in money terms that means "much". Don't skimp, but be responsible. If you don't earn enough to stash away enough to cover (say 1 year to wedding, Total costs $30k = $576.92 per week) don't just jump in. There are creative ways to make up the difference and have the memory and day you both deserve.

Look for some 0% credit cards. Put away as much cash as you can now for the power of compounding. Pay for as much as you can with current income. Don't be afraid to barter. Does that hall need painting, trade for a discount. It is amazing the things you can do, if you just ask.

The recycling idea is fabulous. This is free money. Go into starvation mode now and save every extra dollar, it will pay you back ten fold later.

[S/100/30]

Yeah, the only thing we came close to having a "civil disagreement" on was the guest list. I wanted a number in the teens, he wanted a number in the nineties. We compromised with a number in the forties, fairly evenly split.

[Karen]

I agree with Tom - don't skimp on the photographer! You can debate over whether you want to both video and photo, but in the end (other than your new wife!) it's the only thing you have after the day ends.

Now, you don't have to get engagement photos, a big fancy album and all those extras, but get a GOOD photographer. And make sure you get the negatives.

[lamoneyguy]

Thanks for the feedback folks. I hear you about the photographer. This was a point my Fiancee made rather firmly. She doesn't want to skimp here. I don't think expensive = good, but we'll have to do our research here.

D, I know our budget is ambitious, to say the least. So far the budget we penned is way over based on 250 guests. I think that's where we will need to cut.

[Amanda]

My husband and I fought like cats and dogs over the guest list... its just hard because you don't know everyone on your future spouse's list, so it's easy for you to think "well, so and so can easily be eliminated - I don't even know them!"... Anyway, just stay calm, try to get your guest lists even, and then make additional, and equal, cuts from there.

As for the wedding gown, you can definately save money here. It is for ONE day - trust me, I got my gown on discount, it was lovely, and now I don't have any post-wedding buyers remorse. I also was able so save some dough by doing my own nails and makeup. If your fiancee has a pretty simple hairdo in mind, perhaps she can do that herself too?

Just a few tips!

[AA]

Good luck...I was going to be married in LA and ended up moving the wedding to Mexico because there's no way I could get it under $20K - and we only had 100 guests (and I was keeping it under a budget - my wedding dress is under $100). Many places in LA require minimums of $15K to $25K just for the reception (that's without photographer, flowers, etc.) And that's at about 100-120 guests. If you can do a Friday or Thursday instead, that's where you can save money. The reception/location is what will kill your budget - everything else you can find a deal on. Also check out Kim Fox, she is an awesome photographer (I was going to book her before I moved the wedding).

[financial freedumb]

About the photographer...expensive definitely doesn't mean good...Look at their portfolio and see what type of pictures they take. Also, consider if the final album is a priority and the backup plans they have in place. How many cameras do they have? Type and lenses? (seriously, because if they are professionals, I do believe they should have pro equipment) Assistants? Do they charge from the time they arrive or the time they start shooting? What happens if they are sick? Will you have full rights to the pictures? Have they shot in similar locations as you are looking at?

[S/100/30]

I completely second the advice about skipping photog add-ons like the album. Even photogs that you think have a great aesthetic sense and a fantastic eye can put together albums that are what I'll very generously describe as not at all to my taste. One involved borders that looked straight out of the 80s!

[edenz]

Skimp on the dress! Seriously, your fiancee should be able to find a beautiful dress for >$300. I would suggest avoiding bridal shops like the plague - you're more likely to need alterations if you buy from them. And alterations are expensive.
Keep the guest list as small as possible. I have some suggestions for this on my blog http://edenz713.blogspot.com/2006/07/frugal-wedding.html.
Eliminate as many of the 'extras' as possible - seating cards, champage toast, special knives for cutting, special guest book, invitation inserts, favors, bubbles, etc. You're guests won't miss them and they're expensive.
Bonus - the smaller the wedding the less planning!

[Matt]

We're lucky. Most of the things that add cost to weddings seem insane to both of us. And while we wouldn't dream of having official pictures taken by someone who'd work for free, one of my businesses happens to put me in touch with lots of professional photographers, and at least two whose work I already respect have offered us significant discounts off their regular rates. They call it friendship, my more cynical side calls it kissing-up (since I hire photographers for my business work on a regular basis), and the truth is probably a little of both.

We have good (but non-traditional, and less expensive) possible locations identified for the reception...should help. We don't drink and aren't interested in paying for other people to get drunk, so no need for a booze line-item...and I know that's a pretty big one.

Our guest list is much less negotiable. It'll probably come down to about 275. We'll try to find as many ways as possible to keep this from being a budget-busting population, but since we won't be going into debt almost no matter _how_ much money it costs, I'm more willing to "over"-pay than I am to have a series of arguments about which of our friends and relatives are disposable.

[selena]

you have real concern over the cost of the wedding party and it's natural.But what about your family budget after the celebrity? It also needs careful planning. Most probably you'll want to get a credit card to manage budget. So, it's very important for both of you to check your credit history now to avoid financial problems later...