I bought an Engagement Ring!

I bought an Engagement Ring!

Wow!  This is big on so many levels.  Since this is a money site, I'll talk about the money implications first.   Maybe I was inspired by Him and Her from Make Love, Not Debt .  Some advice to those also considering this step, this is a big purchase, just accept it and get over that part.  Now that being said, there’s one major exception.  If you have any sort of family heirloom, like a grandmother’s ring, you can cut down or virtually eliminate this expense.  While that is seriously attractive, the most important thing here is KNOW YOUR GIRLFRIEND (or soon to be fiancée)!!!  Some girls will love the sentimental aspect to this.  Remember that 1.5 carat engagement rings were rare during WWII, so your grandma’s ring probably doesn’t have as big a rock as your lady’s best friend’s.  So, if she’s into the sentimental stuff, and you have the family ring to give, go for it.  Otherwise, get your butt shopping!

An important note on how much you should spend.  How much does the diamond cartel/propaganda machine tell you that you should spend on an engagement ring?  Surely, you know this number.  All together now: “Two Months Salary!”  Seriously?  Are they really serious about this? Don’t do it.  I mean it.  I don’t care if you make $24,000 or $240,000 per year, it’s too much.  You’re going to spend 16.7% of you annual salary on this one purchase, and still have potential wedding and honeymoon costs to consider?  No wonder most of America is broke. Ironically, most of them are also divorced, and spent their marriage fighting over money.  Look, I don’t have a better guideline, like two weeks, or one month.  But better yet, don’t base it on how much you make, just make sure you are comfortable with the amount you are spending and get the best ring you can for your budget.  Do I sound like an ass yet?  Hold on, it gets better.

Luckily in Los Angeles, we have a phenomenal jewelry district in downtown.  I met up with a friend who knows the area, as this can be somewhat intimidating if you don’t know your way around.  We had gone one time previously to look, and decided to wait until after Valentines Day to pass, as we were told that jewelry of all sort was jacked up right before V-Day.  But that trip gave me a good idea of what I was looking for.  We saw some good stuff, but nothing that jumped out at me.

So, yesterday, I got there before my friend and wandered into one of the small shops that claims to sell diamonds wholesale.  I described what I was looking for, Princess cut, approximately 1 carat, good color, willing to sacrifice a little on clarity, and don’t talk to me about cut.  The first ring she showed me was literally the one.  I changed the stone to one I really liked, but otherwise it was perfect.

One more note, try to find out her size before you go shopping.  I ended up calling her sister and her best friend, and no one knew.  If you can get away with it, steal a ring for a day and run to your nearest jewelry store in the mall to get a size.  Now, don’t make the mistake of actually buying anything there, just use them for sizing, and such things.

In the end, I bought a 1.00 carat, princess cut, G color, SI2, on a diamond encrusted setting with matching band, all for $3788.  This is complete, out the door, including sales tax.  I had budgeted up to $5000, so I am very happy with this.  It went on my credit card, but only because I don’t keep this much money in my checking account. Trust me; the bill will be paid in full next month.  However, before you go, go ahead and make a big transfer to your checking account.  You may be able to negotiate an additional discount for using debit or writing a check.  The small store are run by small business owners. The woman who helped me explained that she has to pay 1.9% on Visa or M/C, up to 2.9% for Amex, and less for Discover.  However for Debit purchases she only has to pay a flat 65 cent fee.  Use debit, and see if they’ll knock another 1.5% off the purchase price.

So, here’s my advice now that I have done this.  Rule Number One, do not buy it at a Mall Store or a major retailer like Robbins Brothers! I went to these places first to look, and prices are seriously like double.  If you do not live somewhere that has a good jewelry district, consider flying to one.  I’m serious about this.  Flights within the US from anywhere to anywhere aren’t going to run you more than a few hundred bucks.  You can easily save a couple thousand by avoiding the malls.  Now if you don’t have a good jewelry district, and can’t get away, consider the online options.  I found a similar ring and stone on bluenile.com, and priced it at $4024.  No sales tax, except for residents of the state of Washington.  Personally, it is important for me to see the ring and the stone live before buying.  Not all SI2s are the same, just as not all G colors are the same.  But it’s a good option.

Well, now I have to think about the proposal!  Yikes!

Comments

[Make Love, Not Debt]

We're so happy for you! Good luck with the proposal!

[empty spaces]

Not to be a wet blanket, but do engagement ring stores have a return policy in case the gf turns one day??

how about flying back to the jewellery district to return it?

[lamoneyguy]

Not being a wet blanket. Frankly, I have no idea what the return policy is. My advice for anyone buying is to find out at the point of purchase if they have any doubt about the likely answer. And if you have to fly back to the jewelry district to return the ring, then I suggest you make a vacation out of it. You'll need it.

[Oregon MoneyGuy]

So.... does she know you blog?

[lamoneyguy]

Hey Oregon MoneyGuy, cool name. She doesn't know about the blog yet. I'll share after I pop the question, which may be within a couple of weeks.

[Tim]

Whoa, good luck man. So many people I know are getting married (not that I "know" you, I'm just saying...). Everywhere I turn someone is getting married or having kids.

Obviously, she's special so I'm happy for ya. Good luck with that, I hear it's hard work. ;)

[ian]

Costco can be a great place to look for an engagement ring. Unless you have the idea that you are cheap if you buy from costco. I actually bought my wife's ring from costco for literally 1/2 the cost I would have paid at a jeweler, and for better quality!

Check it out and see if they have anything you like!

[2million]

Awesome post. I have just started to approach this stage in my life. I have been searching and haven't been happy with my results so far.

[Apex]

Curious as to why in your requirements you said "don't talk to me about cut." By cut do you mean the princess cut versus some other cut or do you mean how well its cut. Because from my understanding, the quality of the cut is one of the more important factors in the brilliance of the diamond.

[lamoneyguy]

Apex, what I had been told was that for rounds, and other cuts the "cut" contributes significantly to the brilliance and shine. But for a Princess cut, you are looking for even proportions and that's about it. I dunno, maybe I'm wrong. I'm just some guy buying a diamond for the first time. But that's what I heard.

[Apex]

Ah, well that sounds plausible. My experience is mostly with the round (or brilliant) shape and my research tended to indicated that for that shape the cut was critical due to the proportional nature of the reflective properties and if it wasn't cut just right most of the light that went in would escape the sides and not be reflected back out thus drastically reducing its sparkle. So just out of curiosity, is it just the princess shape where you were told that cut was not that important? I am wondering about things like the emerald, marquise shapes. There are other odd shapes like heart and pear and I would have no idea how the reflective nature of those works since there is no symmetry in the shape. Just curious if you learned anything about the importance of cut in any of the other shapes.

Diamonds are such an expensive item with complex quality components so it never hurts to know more about what is important.

Thanks for any insight.

[edenz]

An easy way to avoid all the diamond propaganda - they do NOT last forever - is to get a ring without a diamond. Although this is unusual now, it was quite common years ago, all the propaganda about diamonds being extremely rare and the only gemstone that signifies love is all crap and one of the best marketing campaigns ever. Seriously, DeBeers won a marketing award for it. Diamonds sales are controlled by a cartel - just like OPEC only worse.
I prefer color anyway so my fiancee was able to save bundles of money and got a platinum band with a sapphire and two small accent diamonds for under $1200 (that's the appraisal - the jeweler is a family friend so he paid quite a bit less).
I get tons of comments on it (unsolicitated :) ) and I suggest it - although you should make sure your fiancee-to-be doesn't have her heart set on a huge diamond.

[Apex]

Thats a good point.

It would be interesting to do an anonymous poll of women. Alas I suspect the results would be highly tilted in favor of diamonds. The cliche that diamonds are a girls best friend came from somewhere. Perhaps its all brain washing by DeBeers, but once the idea is set, it no longer matters how it got there.

Maybe once a woman has a few diamonds she would want other stones as well. But if she had no diamonds, I bet she goes for the diamond.

Does anyone know of such a survey that was done anywhere?

[Susan]

Perhaps its all brain washing by DeBeers, but once the idea is set, it no longer matters how it got there.

Perhaps? ;) There's a fascinating story out there about how Asia went from a place where your average citizen didn't give a rats ass about diamonds just a few years ago and would never think it was a crucial part of the engagement process, to being as obsessed as the American market, all within a few years thanks to DeBeers marketing.

[Susan]

BTW, congrats on the engagement! And sorry about this flurry of commenting, I just found your blog and have been devouring the archives :).

[Melissa Axel a.k.a. the Delayed Reactor ;-)]

Hi there, just came across your blog while hunting for percentages of wedding budget to be allocated for various things. We're fine-tuning now as our wedding's less than 3 months away... Anyway, just wanted to weigh in and say that I do/did not want a diamond – not only due to the DeBeers situation (evil!), but also because I have always prefered the more interesting/colorful stones.

My childhood love (gem-wise) was the Opal, which has a rich and fascinating history of its own (absent of evil, it would seem). I had heard somewhere that this stone was originally used as for engagements in some royal circles, but due to its fragility others soon replaced its prominence. I still adore its multi-colored luster, and my sweetie had been paying attention in conversations that had nothing to do with getting engaged... so I was pleasantly thrilled to find a gorgeous white Opal flanked by two purplish blue Tanzanite stones in a white gold setting (also my preference) in the box when the question was popped (a big surprise, actually, coming several months earlier than I had expected).

Come wedding ring shopping time, the parameters hadn't changed much: white gold, contemporary but timeless, NO diamonds. We found a gorgeous flat band/stone combination at Matthew's Jewelers in Plantation, FL (for those of you following the above travel advice, this place is *highly* recommended manufacturing jeweler with a full service showroom for the public, plus they do a ton of custom work). The stones? beveled rings of Sapphire on top and bottom of the band... they designed his ring to be the same total width as mine and are soldering the beveled rings to the central band.

One thing that really stood out to me with the choices my fiancé made was the symbolic nature of the stones: Opal for the month we met, Tanzanite for the month we became committed, there are a few tiny diamonds on either side which apparently represent my birth month, and now the Sapphires in my wedding ring, which represent his birth month. Even the ring widths are the same as our ring sizes (unplanned coincidence) – details, details. ;-)

The point is, it doesn't take all the sentimental hype the marketing hounds feed you to make something special; what it takes is the willingness to look outside the (ring) box – and the care, thoughtfulness, and a little effort to create with what's meaningful to the two of you. It also doesn't hurt if you follow your intended around and gauge those reactions to various things that catch his/her attention while browsing in stores. Happy shopping! =)

[Mike R]

Too Bad you didn't use your Discovercard through Bluenile - 5% cash back on their site YEAR ROUND! that would have given you $201.20 back! Also, I was able to buy a nicer cut, clarity, color.. all for about the same price as the lesser one in store. Knowing that I was getting a better grade..was insurance enough for me. The Wife's friends are now all envious of how shiny etc her diamond is..even if theirs is larger (her's is only .8 karats she has a size 4.25 finger). Its a platinum band - I'm in the metals industry and know that white gold is just silver mixed with gold.. and it rubs off almost within the year.. PLatinum will last much longer!

[John]

My situation was that I knew my girlfriend wanted a 1 carat diamond (her friends have them) but when I started looking around, I was pretty much blown away by the price of diamonds. I wanted to pay cash, or at least pay it off right away but I couldn't afford $4000 to $5000 dollars. When I was searching I found this place that sells diamonds that have been touched up. They call them enhanced. I could not believe the prices. I was really skeptical at first because after everything that I saw as far as prices, I thought it would be impossible for it to be a real diamond or it would be really crappy looking. But after I called and talked with them I started to feel a little bit better about it. I also called and talked with a couple of their past customers to get even a better idea. Well to make a long story short, I bought a 1 carat enhanced diamond for $2000. No tax either because I bought it over the internet. I couldn't believe how good it looked. I got an F color and a VS2 clarity. The diamond sparkles like crazy. It looks as good as her girlfriends and they paid almost $5000! Well anyway, if any of you guys out there are struggling to pay for your engagement ring, you might want to look at these enhanced diamonds. Here is a link to the one that I bought. I upgraded to a 1 carat though. Good luck, I hope it helps someone out there!
http://www.secretdiamond.com/ClassicandTimeless90ctwRoundDiamondEngagementRing-idv-2221-6.html

[tungsten carbide ring]

The same as this there are other odd shapes like heart and pear and I would have no idea how the reflective nature of those works since there is no symmetry in the shape.

by: rhianne